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How Men Dress For success.

      Most regular guys are goal driven, we want to be successful in our work and personal lives. Knowing how to dress and comport ourselves is akin to receiving a master key that unlocks a lot of life's barriers. Humans are hard wired to make snap judgments based upon what we see. First impressions are critical because they last. However, nobody wants to spend too much time on clothes selection. Below, you will find a straightforward guide to men's dress and social technique. It takes some inspiration from Steve McQueen, a regular, decent guy with timeless style.

The golden rule is to keep things simple and masculine. Fit and quality provide confidence. Select solid colors and avoid patterned clothing with the subtle exceptions of sport coats and neckties. Tie bars, chains, bracelets, badges and pins contribute unwanted distraction. Loose neckties with open shirt collars either look contrived or convey intoxication. Sweaters, sweater vests or cardigans worn over shirts tend to age most of us.

Outfit colors

The following principles are not absolute but will let you assemble outfits and be certain that clothing won't clash. Select your shirt and build your outfit from one option only. That includes socks, shoes, pants, belts, neckties, jackets, overcoats, scarves, gloves and leather watch bands. Shirts and pocket squares are restricted to white and blue. Outfit option A is restricted to gray, charcoal, navy and black. Outfit option B is restricted to green, navy and shades of brown like, khaki, golden brown, tan, chocolate and burgundy. Stainless steel cuff links and eye wear are compatible with both outfit options. Color for men will guide your palette expansion with respect to polo shirts, casual shirts, neckties, pocket squares, jerseys and sweaters.

The second principle is contrast. Building an outfit comprised a white shirt and one other color may appear to be the simplest solution but you can't live in a funeral suit. Color tones rarely match unless purchased as a unit. Select contrasting jacket and pant separates. One item's color should be significantly different from the other. Matching a navy jacket to black pants is an example of poor contrast. Reserving pattern for your sport coat eliminates the risk of a clash between pant and jacket. Clothing etiquette is almost boundless, extending to fabric contrast and beyond. Currently, solid wool dress pants and cotton khakis are the typical pairings of casual jackets, sport coats and blazers.

Vacation Wear

1: Vacation & Summer

Vacation wear is the most casual element of a man's wardrobe and can be a sartorial minefield. However, this classic ensemble, will have you blending with the jet set. It pulls double duty as stylish lounge and summer wear too. Black water shoes and a few pairs of boardshorts cover any marine activity. Hurleys look great in solid black, red and orange. Cotton bush shirts, linen pants and leather slingback sandals comprises a good general purpose vacation outfit. It can be smartened up with leather loafers, silk camp shirts or cashmere v-neck sweaters.

An unbuttoned and untucked solid rugby jersey, blue jeans and khaki canvas loafers are perfect for exploring around the town. Smart golf attire may comprise of a black Ivy hat, wayfarers, black collared merino top, light gray khakis and white golf shoes. Black masks any damp patches, merino wool has excellent moisture and odour management. Cotton underwear is very durable but retains moisture, generating odor. Synthetic trunks, boxers, and no show socks are better suited to warmer weather.

Leather Jacket

2: Casual

Casual clothing may be surmised as jackets and mid layers that are compatible with jeans. Leather jackets are ideal for situations like coffee shops, burger joints, ball games and going to the movies. They can be paired with almost anything but an unbuttoned shirt offers the greatest impact. All leather is not the same. Full grain, top grain, genuine leather and bonded leather are descendingly ranked for durability. These grades take precedence over hide type when gauging durability. Horsehide is the strongest followed by bison, cow and goat. Lambskin and sheepskin are considerably less durable. I recommend full grain cowhide as a minimum for everyday use. Horsehide is ideal for motorcycle jackets, being tough and naturally waterproof. It's worth spending extra for quality leather as it will see you out, if oiled periodically. Don't store your jacket in plastic as it needs to breathe.

Leather jackets can be broken down into three categories, motorcycle jackets, flight jackets and everything else. Belstaff's motorcycle touring jacket is versatile but prohibitively priced. The classic double fronted jacket suits the hog rider but looks slightly awkward without the motorcycle. Vanson's dominator variant dispenses with the cumbersome waist belt, making it a bit more versatile. Wear it over a solid black, crew neck, t-shirt for best effect. Schott's popular 641HH cafe racer represents the holy grail of classic motorcycle racing jackets. The quality is second to none and the styling suitable for everyday causal wear. The horsehide leather will be stiff initially but gives the jacket robust appeal. Wear it with blue jeans, black gun belt and black Caterpillar boots. The Cats are made in the U.S.A. and employ a Goodyear welt. This method connects the upper and outsole with additional stitching.
Vanson Leathers
Schott NYC
CAT boots

US Wings Legend Jacket

The A2 flight jacket will be many guys first choice but there are number issues you should be aware of. The waist is bloused like an MA-1. This will flatter a stout build but looks sloppy on an athletic frame. The knitted cuffs and waistband get tatty. Most examples come in goatskin, cheaper jackets will be lambskin. The suppleness of goatskin affects jacket drape. WWII A2's were manufactured from horsehide, Aero still make like they used to. Bomber jackets are a generic variant of flight jackets. They are bloused but some designs forgo knitted cuffs and waistband.

Pictured above, US wings offer their alternative Indy jacket. Based on the Indiana Jones model, it has a similar layout to military G1 and A2 flight jackets but offers a straight fit. The leather cuffs and waist are more durable. Side adjustment straps maintain a smart fitted look. The distressed cowhide conveys rugged appeal. Accentuate it with cotton bush shirts, wool commando sweaters, chestnut leather gun belts and tan CAT boots. Navy jeans, sand jeans, gray khakis and olive khakis are compatible.
U.S. Wings
Bush Shirts
Commando Sweaters
Gun Belt

Harrington Jacket

Alpha Industries' MA-1 and M-65 jackets are timeless casual icons. The MA-1 looks best unzipped in olive and navy and the M-65 in khaki, olive and black. Named after Ryan O'Neil's character in Peyton Place, worn by James Dean, Elvis and Steve McQueen, the Harrington jacket is wonderfully versatile. It looks preppy with khakis and oxford shoes and super cool with jeans and ankle boots. Black, navy and cream are the colors to own. Merc make the most authentic style with metal zip, tartan lining and a short body that barely extends to the waist. Style gurus own multiple examples of a classic garment, in several different colors. These fabric jackets represent a perfect opportunity to adopt the strategy. Tan desert boots and chukka boots are the most appropriate casual footwear.

Two button leather blazers aren't appropriate for the office but enable a graceful wardrobe adjustment if hitting the town after work, just lose the necktie. Optionally, wear a thick wool turtleneck underneath, to deliver stylish warmth. Brown and cognac are the most versatile but black blazers look terrific with gray and burgundy shirts. Wool dress pants strike a more refined image when matched with leather blazers but khakis and dark navy jeans are satisfactory. Goatskin or cowhide are preferred if available. The Barbour Beaufort is the only fully waterproof fabric jacket in this guide. The navy model is quite versatile, functioning as executive top coat and casual weekend rain wear. Wear it with khakis, jeans, rugby jerseys and sweaters.

Smart Denim

Dress jeans should be worn in classic dark navy or sand. Novelty colors of black, green or brown will fade too quickly and appear shabby. A modest rise will flatter the gut and promotes a good fit on the rear, which is critical to the look. Denim jeans are undeniably casual, never wear them with suit jackets, neckties or pocket squares. If you are uncertain, upgrade to a pair of khakis or corduroy pants. Denim on denim and corduroy on corduroy should be avoided.

It is acceptable to wear a sport coat with jeans but it remains a distinctly casual affair. Jackets should remain unbuttoned at all times. Navy jeans work with 2 button, single breasted, wool, tweed, camel hair, cotton, linen, silk and corduroy coats. Wear them with crisp, long sleeved shirts and desert boots Tan, brown or burgundy dress shoes also work well but black shoes look peculiar with jeans. Switching to smart black ankle boots resolves the issue.

Style Guide

3: Business Casual

Business casual may be surmised as "no jeans, sneakers or athletic wear". It may be worn in casual surroundings but is perfectly acceptable for an office, posh restaurant or family celebration. Appropriate mid layers consist of untucked short sleeved polo shirts, untucked short sleeved work shirts, turtleneck sweaters, tucked open necked dress shirts and dress shirts with neckties. Cotton work pants offer a more professional appearance than jeans. Most guys wear them with instructor belts. Pictured above, corduroy pants are of versatile medium formality. Wear them with turtleneck sweaters, textured sport coats and desert boots.

Cotton khakis and wool dress pants constitute the formal range of business casual pants. Dockers offer their khakis in four styles, D1 slim, D2 straight, D3 classic and D4 relaxed. Khaki, tan and olive look terrific when matched with a royal blue shirt and navy blazer but avoid darker colored khakis. Light wool pants come in trim or classic fit. Classic has more room in the seat and thighs. Solid colors of gray, navy and black work best.

Business Casual Pants

The smooth leather outsoles of traditional dress shoes can be treacherous on wet surfaces like grass, leaves and marble. Loose gravel can catch you out too. Dr Martin's oxford shoes are extremely versatile, suitable for bad weather, the job site and the office. Black and brown would cover most men's wardrobe. Avoid colors that feature the casual yellow thread. The thiner PU soles of Bates uniform shoes retain practicality and represent a progression in formality. In fact, once polished, they may be worn with a suit or tuxedo. Bates formerly incorporated rubber soles that would disintegrate after 5 years. The new PU Vibram sole resolves that.

Alden's premium oxfords compliment business casual attire and business suits. Bargain hunters pick them up at the Nordstrom clearance sales. Wolverine's Krause boots are a premium alternative to dress shoes. They compliment everything from suits to the most casual leather jackets and jeans. However, these leather soled beauties are not designed for hiking or mucky construction sites. Replacing the Krause's boot laces with long shoe laces will make them look even smarter.

Pure cotton socks retain moisture enabling bacteria to feed on the feet and make them stink. A cotton and Lycra mix will be less damp. Wool socks will keep your feet dry and sweet smelling. Moisture is wicked away and evaporated, keeping you warm in winter and cool in summer. Wigwam wool and silk hiker socks are favored for their durability and luxurious comfort. The nylon mix supports machine wash but make sure it's set on cold. Check out the woolly pully page if you want to lanolize your socks. Matching black socks to black shoes and navy socks to brown shoes keeps the logistics pretty simple.

Sport Coats

Sport coats are fundamental to business casual style and may be worn in several levels of formality. Single breasted two button designs are the most versatile. The design originated from the country pursuits of the aristocracy. Today, many sport coats retain rustic undertones, their material will often sport a weave of herringbone, houndstooth or check. Pure wool sport coats will be restricted to cool weather. Blends of silk and wool support year round wear. A keen eye is necessary to wear plaid sport coats without appearing dated or gaudy.

Pairing a sport coat with a thick wool turtleneck sweater, corduroy pants and suede desert boots gives a relaxed look with enough warmth for fall and winter. Black, navy, royal blue, burgundy and gray are preferred sweater colors. Avoid cable knit, pastels and shades of white, brown or green. Sport coat, sweater and trouser color should contrast. Substituting khakis and an open collared, long sleeved shirt takes formality up one level. Add a silk tie and pocket square when in the company of suits. Though less formal, this ensemble will often make more of an impression than competing suits. Coats featuring structured shoulders are most appropriate, if wearing neckties and pocket squares.

Blazer Navy

Favored by European royalty for their flexibility, blazers blend the formality of a suit jacket with the relaxed fit of a sport coat. Casual use may incorporate lightweight cotton turtleneck sweaters or open necked shirts. However, the blazer trumps the sport coat when necktie and pocket square are incorporated, conveying significantly more gravitas. Solid navy, single breasted, two button designs are the most versatile. Brass buttons add traditional flair. If absent, ask your tailor to add them during alterations. Deep blue shirts and vibrant solid or striped neckties deliver the greatest impact. Gray wool trousers, olive khakis and tan khakis are classic companions. Avoid blazers in polyester blends or colors of gray and green. They're intended for security staff and professional golfers. Unlike sport coats and suit jackets, blazers may have their lowest button fastened.

Sport coats and blazers have several advantages over generic suits. Purchasing a good basic fit is less difficult, as trouser and coat can be purchased separately. Most suits are sold in fixed sets with a standard drop of 6". This means if we buy a 40" suit, we are forced into 34" suit pants, which may not be desirable. Secondly, the ability to compose different outfits by mixing sport coats, blazers and pants, creates the illusion of a broader wardrobe. Considering we receive more value from sport coats and blazers, it makes sense to invest in high quality examples with the luxury of natural materials. Made in the U.S.A., Joseph Abboud's coats represent the median price point between re-branded Asian product and premium Italian brands such as Zegna and Brioni.

Spread Collar

High quality dress shirts should take priority in our clothing budget as the coat is removed for the majority of office hours. Shirts frame the face and torso, which is what others will focus on. Select your dress shirts by the following sequence, fit, collar type, cuff type, color, pattern and size. A classic fit flatters stout builds but billows on trim waists. Trim fit compliments an athletic build. Pictured above, spread collars flatter long faces. Forward point collars suit all other facial profiles and may be worn unbuttoned under sport coats, blazers and suits. Barrel cuffs have integral buttons and work equally well in casual or formal context. French cuffs are only obligatory for black tie but make us look and feel special. A selection of solid white, blue, French blue and royal blue shirts is perfectly adequate. Solid white shirts are the most formal. Nordstrom are a proven source of premium pure cotton shirts.

Consider the necktie the last bastion of masculinity rather than a corporate leash. It serves to unify the disparate elements of a man's outfit. Picking up another outfit color is desirable but avoiding clash should take priority. The tie permits us to adjust tone by selecting subdued solids to suite sombre occasions and vibrant solids or stripes, if self expression is appropriate. Patterns other than diagonal stripes are acceptable but less flattering. Woven silk delivers an evident touch of luxury. Slim ties work best in subdued solid colors. Their width of 2.25" compliments narrow jacket lapels, which flatter a very slender build. Tie widths of 3.25" flatter standard lapels, which accentuate the natural 'V' of a developed male torso. The four-in-hand knot is our default. The wider Windsor knot consumes the expanse of a spread collar. The necktie should terminate at the belt line.


4: The suit

Single breasted, two button, notch lapel suits are timeless. Side vents are typical and make waist alterations simple. A center vent may gape if taken in at the waist. Tropical weaves and lower wool 'S' ratings are cooler. It's better to be shivering at a winter funeral than hiding sweat patches at a summer wedding. Linen suits are even cooler and well suited to beach weddings but crease too easily for other occasions. Linen blends are more practical. Silk blends are suited to sport coats but lack durability in a full suit. They look great in movies and music videos.

Shoulder fit is the most important attribute in suit sizing. Other alterations are relatively straightforward. The jacket shoulders must terminate where our shoulders end. Move your arms to check for binding, bunching or slop in the jacket shoulders. The seat takes priority in pant sizing. A trim fit has a tighter seat and less rise, encouraging wear on the hips. A classic fit is worn on the waist with more slack in the seat. Don't be alarmed by extra long sleeves and pant legs. They enable alteration to custom fit. It's easier to remove material than add it. Jacket sleeves should be altered to expose half an inch of shirt cuff when standing straight. Trouser legs should be altered to half break and no cuff. Trouser waist may be altered for comfort and jacket waist cinched to promote an hour glass figure. The bottom jacket button should remain undone to attain proper drape and freedom of movement.

Trench Coat

Over coats protect our suits from snags, dirt and liquids while out and about. Three quarter length coats are the most practical. Full length coats present a dated, stuffy image. Double breasted mackintosh and trench coats, single breasted wool top coats and waxed cotton rain coats are the traditional styles. Developed for officers in WW I, trench coats appear scruffy in colors other than black or cream. Cream will look very dapper when worn over dark colored suits but black coats have greater longevity. Contemporary trench coats will withstand light showers but they aren't rain coats. Wear a navy Beaufort when the rain is pelting down.

Wool coats provide warmth but are a pretty standard affair. Camel is a lively traditional wool color that compliments navy suits. Black leather great coats coats are a debonair alternative to nylon raincoats. Tying the leather belt in a knot is traditional but may be construed as effeminate. Leather will block wind and rain but doesn't have much insulation. Make extended cold weather periods comfortable by adding a 300 weight fleece underneath. Request black hardware instead of silver.


5: Dinner Suit

Black tie is traditional for diplomatic engagements and industry ceremonies. This dress code emphasizes conformity and understatement. If you are representing your employer at a black tie dinner, being conspicuous is most undesirable. Events such as opening night at the theatre or evening dinner on a cruise are less critical. Contemporary Tuxedo styling is little more than a black wool business suit with satin detail on the notch lapel and breast pocket. This is more flattering than a peak or shawl lapel. Satisfy convention by wearing a French cuff shirt with lay down collar, black silk bow tie, and black formal cufflinks. Black patent oxfords are traditional but high polished, plain toe, uniform shoes are more durable and comfortable. Patent leather scuffs easily and can be very stiff. Waistcoats and cummerbunds are optional but dated. Outerwear consists of an unbuttoned black wool top coat and ivory evening scarf.


Skills for success.

There are two groups of general skills required for success, thinking skills and communication skills. All of these skills are based upon empirical experience and proven scientific principles. The material is actionable step by step technique, which needs to be practiced, maintained and referenced. It requires hard work to develop these valuable skills. However, the material was developed to be accessible for operational staff. You won't be grabbing the dictionary to decipher academic terminology. These manuals will be regularly referenced. I recommend using a physical format, preferably hardcover.

Although good communication skills make things a lot easier, mindset is the most important tool in the success kit. People with the right stuff will succeed through sheer mental resolve and hard work. A mindset has two elements, reference experiences and a mentality. Under pressure, people fall back to their level of experience, rather than rise to the occasion. Experiencing risk, stress, exhaustion, hunger, cold and pain provides a base reference. A person's coping level is proportional to the hardship of their base reference experience. This is evidenced by the increased pain tolerance of women that gave birth naturally.

A mentality is a conditioned thought process acquired from role models and peer groups. It affects how we perceive our circumstances and how we rationalize our decisions. Victim mentality and entrepreneurial mentality are the two polar extremes. Traits of a victim mentality are a sense of entitlement, laziness, low esteem, rudeness, negativity, egocentricity, helplessness, defensiveness and risk aversion. Traits of an entrepreneurial mentality are a strong work ethic, motivation, decisiveness, resilience, humility, responsibility, accountability, empathy, self control and risk acceptance. Despite its title, Executive Toughness isn't about business but rather developing the self control of an entrepreneurial mentality.

Mindfulness is a more profound approach to altering mentality. Everybody is subject to the stimuli of stress, anger, physical pain and emotional pain. Individuals with superior coping skills will rise to the top of a competitive field. Basic mindfulness enables us to become more focused and aware. It flushes distracting negative thoughts and memories from our consciousness. A fundamental tenant of mindfulness is that we are not defined by our thoughts. Formal mindfulness uses meditation to gain extreme awareness of the present. Ultimately, this enables us to recondition a thought process to select a different response to a stimulus. Formal mindfulness effectively combats stress, anger, chronic pain, PTSD, depression, anxiety and addiction. It's a skill that requires practice to master. There are no religious or counter-religious elements. The CD only accompanies printed book formats.
Executive Toughness
Mindfulness (Book + CD)

Critical Thinking

Ignorance isn't a vacuum, rather a collection of hearsay, assumptions and beliefs. The Dunning Kruger effect identifies the phenomenon that humans are often oblivious to their own ignorance. Ignorance cultivates ego and complacency, which are significant impediments to learning, performance and decision making. Ego prevents us from accepting informed instruction or constructive criticism. Ego prevents us from holding ourselves to account, yet critiquing others comes naturally. Above, Executive Toughness assists us in defining performance standards and objectively evaluating ourselves. We are all subject to the DK effect to some degree. We all need to be lifelong students rather than jaded experts.

Actions based on unsupported assumptions and beliefs are doomed to failure, spawning the idiom "assumption is the mother of all screw ups". Critical thinking utilizes methodical thought processes as an alternative to natural thinking. Its objective is to provide a successful means of making decisions and solving problems. Critical thinking is essentially the practical application of logic theory. The core skill is statement (premise) evaluation, preventing unsupported assumptions and beliefs being presented as facts during decision making. Think Smarter is a concise critical thinking action plan, intended to support anybody that needs to make decisions. It's accessible, practical and non-business specific. It employs a four stage process of clarity, conclusions, innovate and decide.
Think Smarter


Logic needs to be combined with ethics to support sound judgment. The world is a harsh sleazy place that can wear a good man down if he isn't careful. It takes twenty years to develop a good business reputation and only five minutes to destroy it. Most people favor the easy route to success; brown nosing, back stabbing, cheating and lying, work in the short term. Temptation is even worse, if influence or power is gained. However, sleaze usually surfaces in the long run. Folks that get away with it, still forfeit their self respect, leaving them desperately hollow.

Ethics 101 isn't academic theory or political policy. It isn't a convoluted decision tree. It's not even a how to book. It's a why book. Maxwell boils it all down to one rule "do onto others as you would have done onto you". There are guys out their that love complexity but when things get sketchy, simplicity rules the day. Frankly, all competent adults know right from wrong. The issue for many is will they get caught. This is what Maxwell addressees, trying to give us enough ammunition to defeat temptation and intimidation. Ultimately, whether atheist or fundamentalist, everybody needs sound judgment and ethical actions to be happy.

However, it's human nature to form tribes and bestow preferential treatment on its members. The rules get bent all the time. Tribes will tolerate a member that's totally straight on condition that they don't snitch on others. Snitching on another tribe member triggers the tribe to turn on the snitch rather than the offender. By hook or by crook, the snitch will be forced out of the tribe. That often translate to the end of a career.
Ethics 101


Communication skills group into two sets. Conveying presence, confidence and warmth makes the sale. That sale may take the form of a successful job interview, first date or lucrative business contract. If stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong, conveying empathy and respect secures compliance and co-operation. Examples of such circumstances would be negotiating a divorce settlement or addressing an employee's delinquency. It's human nature to mask our emotional state as a form of protection. Most body language manuals are light entertainment rather than formal instruction. However, Dr Paul Ekman's Emotions Revealed enables us to gain feedback as we apply the communication skills detailed below.

The Charisma Myth is a peculiar little book that is a broad collection of actionable tips, tricks and techniques supporting our first group of communication skills. I recommend using this title first because of its ease of execution. Physical techniques covering focus, nodding, handshakes, speech tempo, speech intonation, speech tone, body language and clothing promptly deliver results. Conveying gratitude, compassion and warmth are mastered by training to emote from stored memories, just like an actor. Confidence is generated by positive visualization and positive internal chatter. Other topics include selecting the style of charisma that is most suitable, dealing with physical discomfort, difficult people, public presentations and delivering constructive criticism.

Developing charisma is essentially creating a persona and letting it take root. Some of the book's other techniques might be dismissed as parlor tricks but can achieve a profound improvement in quality of life. However, I need to point out that it's difficult to get our mind right without looking after our bodies. Some generic public speaking techniques may obstruct full engagement with an audience. Be Heard Now guides us in developing a natural public speaking style, particularly useful for impromptu events. Certain job interviewers like to cull the heard with an etiquette ambush. Business Class is a practical guide developed to help us side step these social bobby traps and banana skins.
Emotions Revealed
The Charisma Myth
Be Heard Now
Business Class

Verbal Judo

Verbal Judo introduces our second group of communication skills. Originally developed for police officers, it enables us to interrupt emotional people, calm them and affect compliance through, respect, acknowledgment, interruptive questions and coercive empathy. George Thomson's simple formulaic approach replaces the natural language that often escalates matters. Illustrated in Thomson's video lecture, a friendly tone of speech is critical to success. The speech exercises in Charisma Myth provide valuable assistance. Verbal Judo's techniques excel at de-escalation but the subsequent compliance narrative is somewhat sparse. Crucial Conversations amply compensates with a host of prescribed tactics and dialog designed to obtain co-operation under tense circumstances.
Verbal Judo
Crucial Conversations

What Wives Want

What Wives Want

1) A strong capable partner:
There is nothing a man wants more than his woman to look up to him with doe eyed respect. However, respect is earned by demonstrating skills and abilities. A husband should a rock rather than a dependent man child. A guy needs to be able to buy his own clothes, cook for himself, wash his own clothes and clean his own dishes. We should be capable of clearing air locked radiators, blocked gutters, drains and sewer pipes. Displaying basic vehicle maintenance, electrical DIY and plumbing DIY skills satisfies her instinctive need to build a nest. Basic preparation for power outages and natural disasters lets us take charge in a crisis.

A fitness test is a women's instinctive system check that her man is still up to the job. Almost any disrespectful behavior intended to illicit an emotional response should could be classified as a fitness test. Women will periodically perform fitness tests well into long term relationships and marriage. Emoting, retreating or denial are major fitness test failures. The tests will only escalate until the correct response is received or the relationship is destroyed. Her instinctive need is to be sat down and calmly corrected, being informed that her behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Calmly stay on message. Don't let the conversation get diverted or flipped to your previous transgressions.

2) Understanding:
The sheer emotion of the female experience can make it a tough row to hoe. Emotional instincts that perpetuated the human race in adversity can become a major source of pain and disharmony. The ambiguity of female instinct spawned the idiom, "Women don't what they want but reserve the right to be cheesed when they don't get it". 'For Men Only' is the closest thing to an operators manual that men are going to get. Shared instincts such as jealousy or revenge aren't covered. Displaying an understanding and empathy of the female condition eases the tension. Understanding doesn't imply acquiescence. Men still need a mission, quiet time, man time and a man cave.
For Men Only

3) Unconditional love:
Women can't directly communicate their emotional needs. Read this book together, to discover her preferred expression of unconditional love.
The 5 Love Languages

4) To feel safe and protected:
The best way to beat a violent attack is to identify, avoid and disrupt it. Prefense is an accessible, practical, personal security guide that distills attacks into a recognizable, predictable cycle. The Games Criminals Play was originally developed for correctional officers but serves as a general countermeasure to manipulation and set ups. Scaling force details the anatomy of a violent encounter, including pre-attack indicators. The defensive options of presence, voice, touch, joint locks, pepper spray, strikes and lethal force are covered in detail. The author, Rory Miller, has a lot of relevant experience as a former correctional officer.

Massad Ayoob is the leading authority on legalities of lethal force. He has testified as an expert witness supporting citizens prosecuted for defending themselves. Deadly Force is his updated guide to your right to self defense. A small minority of guys can apply lethal force an be unaffected by the experience. Most will suffer some level of psychological trauma. Deadly Force Encounters is a Police Officers guide to preparing for this trauma and dealing with the aftermath. It's also applicable to armed citizens.
Games Criminals Play
Scaling Force
Deadly Force Rights
Deadly Force Encounters

5) To be financially secure:
Wealth is an emotional subject with a deep psychological impact. Financial stress is the primary factor in marriage failure. Financial disagreements are the primary predictor of marriage failure. All couples need to be skilled budgeters and investors for their relationship to be successful. Sound financial practice may be uncomfortable but is is not complicated. The secret to budgeting is to use cash and organize it in envelopes. It's relatively easy to lose track with a credit card. It's important that budgeting be a shared responsibility, maintaining the balance of power in a relationship. Dave Ramsey's total money make over is a step by step guide to budgeting, exiting debt, saving and building wealth.
Total Money Makeover
Spendvelope Wallet

6) To be physically satisfied:
Wham, bam, thank you Ma'am, doesn't do a lot for the ladies. Female arousal and climax occur in the brain, which invokes emotional satisfaction to progress. Most women desire a leisurely, sensual, seductive, experience. Emoting warmth, holding hands, brushing hair back, touching foreheads, extended eye contact, shallow kissing, light petting, kissing the back of her neck and shoulders, close embrace, dry humping and heavy petting are preferred.
Sensual Massage
She Comes First
Male Endurance

7) To have a good father for her children:
The first three years of fatherhood are a blur of sleepless nights, nappy changes, vomit, teething, potty training, pinching, hitting, biting, hair pulling, screaming and equally charming stuff. Although toward the end, we should have something resembling a human being, that can play simple card games. The man's role is a tag team support partner.

Four years to ten years is a magical time for kids. Most of the following is applicable to girls but boys require a father figure to successfully instill character and comportment. The male psyche yearns for adventure, battle, construction and camaraderie. Bringing up boys is a devilishly simple recipe of discipline, boys own adventures, backyard antics and skill demonstrations. The subtle act of bringing a water rocket to the local park serves as a meet and greet with all the other local kids. Bring commando comic battles to life with G.I. Joe and some cheaper cannon fodder. Launching a projectile is deeply satisfying, whether skipping stones, using a sling shot, throwing knives, firing potato cannons, paintball skirmishes or air rifle sniper competitions.

There is nothing a young boy wants more than to learn to be a man. Tagging along, observing and helping with work, DIY, motorcycle maintenance, bushcraft, fly fishing, shooting, archery, hunting, bivouac, BBQ, cooking, working out, self defense, shooting hoops, darts, pool and poker. There are also several rites of passage that require the guidance of a father, riding a bike, first pocket knife, first gun and first part time job. Scooters develop balance and make the transition to bike riding effortless. Capitulating to the nagging for video game machines, only shifts the battleground to getting them away from the thing. Unlike '80's arcade games, which spat a kid out in a matter of minutes; modern home games are epic collaborative quests that suck a kid in for hours. That's a problem. It's best to endure the nagging and continue with real character building activities.
Delta Kite
Book of Paper Airplanes
Hand Shadows
Water Rocket
G.I. Joe
Commando Mini-Books
The Dangerous Book for Boys

Suitable for 7 yrs+, Huckleberry Finn and his friends (1979), is a charming German/Canadian co-production. Although made for kids, it remains true to Twains' novels. There is no baggage or political correctness. It received limited broadcast in the U.S. but proved tremendously popular in Europe. The DVD is currently only available in European PAL format. However, many computer DVD drives will play the PAL format. Software adapters are also available. Suitable for 8 yrs+, Hatchet is the story of a boy surviving in the Canadian wilderness after a light plane crash. It initiates an interest in rugged individualism.
Huckleberry Finn and His Friends

Questions & Feedback.

Well, that's about it guys. I hope you found this guide useful. If you have any questions or feedback, feel free to contact me through the welcome page.

Personal Photo

Ian ST John.

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